1. quit binging- get my old self control back
2. loose 15lbs.
3. put in my hardest at university
4. stop running away from serios relationships
5.save money.
6.hate less, love more
7. get a second job.

:)

dont forget

hair straightener
stockingss
hat
alcohol
makeup.
phone charger

lets say im at 500.
just incase.
cover all bases

as of this morning.between 49.2-49.3
hopefully tomorrow i can make it under 49.
48 kilos before graduation would be awsome.
but im not hoping for anything.
to just BE in the 48's would be enough to keep me very very happy.


TO DO TONIGHT.
Clean room my room
Pedicure
Manicure.
Pack another box for moving out
Train times for thursday/friday - im going to the city.
write a list of things i need to buy shopping on friday
clean the pantry and get rid of all binge foods.
go through my old clothes and finally throw out the ones that dont fit.

i need to stopppppp eating at nighttime.
i probably ate like
150 calories lastnight neg.

so far today i had a tomato
=20
and some onion
=10
and some cheese
=10
==40
2 cups of tea
=10
a bite of cake.
=20
a bite o biscut
=10
someeee bread  with penut butter
=20
aand thats about it
=100
wowie

if i have a lollipop orr some rockmelon or soumething equalling 50 calories for lunch.
then ill pack something to have before gym.
should be home from gym at 3ish

fix my legal draft
legal powerpoint
do my modern revision questions
fix revision for ancient.

soup: 50
spaghetti= 100
salad= 50
Vegetables= 50
total= 250
450

to acomplish on wednesday

practice english twice - can do this tonight if need be. no big deal
do 2 maths revision sheets done more than 2!
read over ancient notes
Read over modern history book
read over history revision
read some history book.
Legal bibliography
Double check legal draft   took out 1/2 a page :D
Time legal 11:40 >.<
Begin legal powerpoint

tomorrow i really need to
read over my ancient notes
read over my modern history notes
red a chapter in my history text book
Do my maths revision sheet again
Do the review questions in the maths book
practice my english
do my legal bibliography
intext referencing for my legal

awsome :|

fruit and yohgurt = 50
soup
=50
3 servings of ice cream
=150
spaghetti and a tiny bit of bread
150
cake
100?
=500
3 popsicles
=60
560.
round up to like 600?

today so far
egg whites and a tomato
=50
1 tomato
=20
1/2 a apple
=30
apple snacks
=20
soup
=50
ice cream cone.
=20
total.
=200
round it up to 300 just in case.


dinner
=a bread roll with spread
aboutt 200
+salad
=50

apple
=70

lollypop
=50
total.
=670

bannana with penut butter
=50
some watermelon/rockmelon
=20
tea
=5
biscut
15
==760.
another 100 before dinner.
=860

im sure ill screw it up enough to make it 1000

what i can actually remember eating today.
spinach
=10
tomato
=20
soup
=50
Small nectarine
=30
2 ice cream cones
=30
i biscut
=30
lollypop
=50
==220
3 cups of tea
25
2 cruskits with cottage cheese
=45?
=290
ive had bits of cake and a bike of a banana and a bite of bread aswell
so round up like 400 calories to be safe.
dinnnner
=2 tomatos and spinach
=50.
1/2 a breadroll.
=100
cauliflower
=50
=200
round up to 250 to allow for somethig  i dont see coming
Total = 650.
fruit salad
=100
750.
bedtimeee
chammomile tea
=5
1/2 a banana with some penut butter
=50
1/2 a biscut.
=15
ice cream cone w/ honey?
20
total.
=840
still to low.

im fairly sure i stayed under 800 calories today
burned off 700.
i suck at recovery.

tomorrow.
2 tomatos
=40
jelly
=25
======65.

coffee
=20
=====85
apple.
50
135.
cordial.
=0
5 cherry tomatos.
=15.
150.

dinner can be.
salad = 50
cauliflower and broccoli = 50
bread = 100?
Jelly.
=25
35 cals of banaa
+15 cals or penut butter
=50 + chammomile tea + 1/2 a biscut
70.

today i had a fruit salad
70
tomato and eggplant
50
i was going SOO well.
but then
noo
i had a sliver of vanilla cake
im guessing maybe 100-150?
so thats.
220-270.
thennn cruskits.
50?
270-320
i dont want to forget anything
so im just going to go ahead and say ive eaten 400 today.
later im going to go out for coffee with a friend
coffee is like 20 cals if that.
jelly. is 25
so say 450.
i come home and eat a salad
=40
490.
before bed 1/2 a apple
25
chammomile tea
=5
banana with penut butter
=40.
560.
some vegetable bake?
600
yeah.
i dunno what else

wooooo
51.9kg this morning.
down from 52.4 yesterday
yes pleaseeee if i can keep loosing weight :)
period should start today or tomorrow.
hopefully the weight will go down
im fairly sure the lowest ive been is 51.7 on my wii fit in the morning.
and the lowest ive been at the gym is 51.4
i REALLLLLLY wish i could go workout. i may even hit a low weight.
MOTIVATEDDDD :)
next mini goal is to get in the 50's by the end of next week?
and to get in the 40's by the end of the month
i cant even comprehend how amazing ill feel when i can officially say 'im 40 something.
its like im thatttttt much closer.
my UGW was 49
but not anymore
now its abouttt 47-48
with my overall overall overallll
45 kilos.
i promise i wont let myself get any lower than 45 no matter what
BUTTTT
thats still 6.9 kilos to loose
so thats a loooooong time away
atm we'll focus on loosing 2 kilos.
to bring myself to 49.9
ohhh i love typing that 4
now sundays the day i normally fuck up.
but i think i might be able to get that edge if i can just last.
i have a fruit salad for breakfast which is about 100
then ill have a rockstr at work
which is like 23
then tryyy not to but if im really craving ill make soup
50.
then for lunch ill make myself a egg white omlette.
70
1/2 a chocolate and a bit of biscut with tea
brings me to 250-300 depending on wether i have soup or not.
then ill have diet jelly later
=20
dinner can be toast and a fruit salad
between 250-300
if i go to the movies ill have a apple? and a lollypop ^_^ and gum and diet coke.
like 100
today entails windsor pilates 8 min legs- don.
8 min abs
leg lifts.
side lunges = 25
squats =30
side leg lifts=25.

tomorrow.
soup
50.
strawberries and tomato
=25
rockmelon
=20
watermelon
=40
85.
oatmeal etc.
15
150
+rockstar
23
175.
Lunch
tomato+onion
=25.
spinach
=10
egg whites
=34
total.
about 250.

today ive had
about 60 cals of fruit with topping and oatmeall.
80?
coffeee
=10?
later ill have. Tea
=0
aaaand maybe soup if im really hungry.
=50
total
=150,
when i get home from gym at about 3. ill have a salad
=50.
200.
frozen banana
=90.
290
hopefully i can keep it to 400 before diner.
veggie stir fry.
300?
700.

couldnt bring myself to go to gym this morning.
so i did
50 leg lifts
8 minute legs workout.
20 side lunges.
1/2 o the abs workout.
25 inner leg lifts

when i come home.

8 minute legs again.
other 1/2 of the abs workout.
30 squats.
maybe 25 inner leg lifts.

ive eaten
2 cups of tea
=12
i peice of toast
58
with spreads
15?
fruit
55
=140.
at work. salad and soup
=100
rockstar
23
coffee
20
283.
round up to 300.

i just want to be my 110lbs.
tomorrow.

work 9- 5:30
breakfast
=1pc of toast
=58.
2 cups of tea.
=12.
=70.
+ 1/2 cup melon
=25.
1/2 cup watermelon
=23.
cofffee=20
10 peices of strawberry
=10
TOTAL
150

Lunch
Salad.
2 x small tomatos
=32
capsicum
=5
onion
=13
TOTAL..
50.

sugarfree rockstar
=23

soup
=50,

TOTAL.
283

Dessert fruit salad
100-150?
dinner
=toast and tomatos
146.
hmm

i  dont want to slip back into this.

 

she has had.
apple
=50.
1/2 a fizzer
=17.
extra drop
=6
2pc of toast
120.
spreadys
30- 40?
1 peice of chocolate
=20?
TOTAL.
243 :)
and a spponful of ice cream
=20?
263.
Also had likeee some crap so i could be anywhere between 300-350.
then im going to work 2-8.
so ill have chicken soup + a fruit cup or instead of a fruit cup have a coffeeeee :D
87. + a rockstar
=23.
TOTAL.
110.
total =between 400 and 450.
no idea what to have for dinner aye.
hopefully tomatos and spinach and onion + a fruit salad.
keep it under 300.
therefore i will have consumed between 700-750.

yesterday i had, 250 before leaving home. Rice paper roll + apple+starbucks+1 pc of toast+3 piklet bites
=100+50+20+80+100
=about 600-700.

i was 51.6 this morning and my period hasnt even started yet ^_^.
im aiming to burn400-500 at gym so i would have burnt off everything ive eaten before dinner.
if i do 10 mins on the starimaster + 50 cals on the rower + 150-200 on the bike + 50 on the recumberant bike
=about 400
then maybe 100 on the elleptical
=500 total.
 
if i leave for gym at 11:30
get there at 11:45
10 mins on stairmaster
=11:55 + 15+5+10 on the bike
=12:25+10 minutes o ntherower
12:35
+14 mins on the recumberant bike
=12:50
10-15 o nthe elleptical.
=1-1:10
then i have 1/2 a hour to get ready and changed and all good.
thenget picked up at 1:40 and make it to work.
im trying not to force myself though >.<
faaark.

fruit salad.
=45
chocoalte
15.
bread
=15
2 egg whites.
=34
1/2 a onion
25
spinach
=15
tomato
=10.
fruit bits
=20
apple
=30
bread
=20
TOTAL.
=225.
THATS IT
im such a fucking pig.
im not going to eat anything apart from a few strawberries before i leave the house.
in brisbane ill have a macchiato.
=20
rice paper roll.
=about  100 with sauce.
diet coke.
hopefully thats it.
so thats like.
350.
*crosses fingers thats all ill have.
and then some food when i get back to jens afterwards.
like 100-150 calories worth.
bringing my total to.
500 or the day
wow thats really bad.



how come im loving it so much?

im trying to think.
what ive eaten.
i feel like ive pigged out all day
but i really havent
the onyl substantial things ive eaten is
sugar free jelllo = 25.
2 peices of chocolate= 50.
ommlette.
=70.
coffee and tea.
=30
june=10
papadum w/ dip.
15.
1/2 a taco shell -.-
30.
tomato
=15.
==== 245.
some bread w jam.
=30
275.
 biscut.
30.
305.
soup
=50.
350.
1/2 a tomato
=10
round it up to 400.
tonight at dinner ill have no idea what to have!
i dont want to go out :(
dessert = sugar free jello
=25.
====425.
dinner can be a salad and roast vegetables?
i hate going out to dinner =[

apparently ive eaten 286
but i dont doubt that its probably more because of my damn snacking.
im going to aim for 900 today.
ill have a sugar free rockstar and a macchiato i think.
about 40-50 calories.
and i'll call it.400 for the day so far.
im trying to eat 900 today so i shouldnt be freked
but ya know.
i am. -.-

im about to go insane at work. i just want to cry and cry and cry because ive been there so much .
this is the last day of my like 50 hour week.
ive dome something like 45 hours i nthe last week.
and i have 5.5 today.
once i get today over with  i have 2 days off.
then 2-8 on thursday i can probably handle as i can read magazines from like 5-8.
friday the new machines are in so even though i wont want to work it'll be interesting to lern the machines.
saturday im over at the other shop with bernie shouldnt be too bad.
sunday is the same as sunday.
its just todayyyy i need to get through.

i wish i could just have a holiday :(
hmm.